complaining or informing
“Are You Complaining or Just Informing?”
This phrase was often uttered by my dad to my brother and me when we were young. It typically emerged when either of us would whine about things beyond our control—how cold and rainy it was during rugby practice, homework assignments, or not wanting to go to school.
Translated: suck it up, buttercup.
You might feel compelled to call CPS right now—but don’t waste your time (we’re both deep into our 20s). That’s not the point anyway. The real lesson here is about adopting a Stoic mindset: focusing on what we can control—our inputs, not our outputs.
Though I couldn’t appreciate it back then, this mentality became a valuable gift that now shapes my approach to work, life, and fitness.
Here’s how I use it in my life.
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the age of the complainer
I promise this won’t become an essay bashing millennials but, being one myself, we are often insufferable. BUT I (in true millennial fashion) don’t see it being ALL our fault lol.
Our generation of hyper-complainers stems from the rise of the internet, which empowered the voices of the not-so-quiet Generation X. Aka the “Karen” era. Ah yes, the generation that can make it seem like a Starbucks cashier is acting like a dictatorial warlord. All because they wanted 4 pumps of vanilla syrup in their latte—NOT 3.
This generation also pioneered the ‘helicopter parent’ approach, a stark contrast to their hard-ass parents. I saw this firsthand in school—kids quitting sports or commitments on a whim because it was boring or hard. At least they got participation medals.
Based on the opening quote, you may have noticed my Boomer dad didn’t share this mindset.
Wow, it sounds like I’m doing a lot of “informing” so far. So, let’s get to the point.
the point
Complaining is often a way to self-soothe laziness.
Entrepreneurs, often seen as hard-working, are some of the worst culprits. For most entrepreneurs, working hard on their business is the easy part. It’s working on their health and relationships that gets the easiest excuse: time.
“I’m working so much right now, I don’t have time to work out.”
“I’m so busy with work, I can’t find time to plan date night.”
The workout excuse is particularly laughable. I guarantee I can build you one of the hardest workouts of your life in less than 10 minutes with zero equipment (actually, here are 6 that will kick your ass).
For the date night excuse: we pride ourselves on creativity, problem-solving, and productivity. We have endless lists of startup ideas and domains we’ve impulsively bought—yet we struggle to brainstorm a monthly date night? C’mon.
The greatest defense against laziness is intellectual honesty and self-assessment. Adequate self-assessment starts with ‘informing’ yourself of the issue to begin with.
So, let’s use that framework to shift our mindset around some common excuses:
“I’m working so much right now, I don’t have time to work out.”
The real issue: You haven’t made working out a priority.
What you can do: Build working out into a habit so strong you hate missing a session. It’s like ripping off a band-aid—just get it done. I recommend making it the first thing you do in the morning. Because the longer the day goes on, the busier we get, and the more likely we are to skip it.
If the gym isn’t accessible, focus on 10-20-minute at-home workouts. Something is always better than nothing.
My challenge to you: Knock out at least 2 of these no-excuse workouts this week.
“I don’t have the money to hire people, so I’m stuck working 80-hour weeks.”
The real issue: You’re viewing hiring as a cost, not an investment.
What you can do: Start small. You don’t need a full-time team overnight. Look at virtual assistants, freelancers, or part-time contractors to handle repetitive tasks. Freeing up even 5-10 hours a week can dramatically boost productivity and income potential.
My challenge to you: Log your hours this week. Identify one task someone (or tech) could handle or automate. Hire a freelancer from UpWork, even just for a few hours as an initial trial.
“Eating healthy is too much work; I don’t have time to meal prep.”
The real issue: You don’t have an eating system in place.
What you can do: I hate creating meal plans too. Here’s a top-down system I use to make it less painful:
At the grocery store, start with the protein section and see what’s on special.
Once you have your protein locked down, build your weekly meals around that.
When in doubt - build a bowl. Here’s a formula: 1 lean protein (chicken, ground turkey, fish, shrimp, chickpeas, edamame, steak, etc.), rice or quinoa, your fave type of lettuce, 2-3 other veggies, plus a dressing of your choice. Using this matrix you can make hundreds of variants before you grow sick of having the same thing all the time.
Final hack - use an app like Mealime or even ChapGPT to create a grocery shopping list for you.
My challenge to you: Prep 3 simple, go-to meals for the week. Aim for meals that take less than 10 minutes to assemble.
“I can’t focus because I’m constantly overwhelmed with tasks.”
The real issue: You’re managing your to-do list instead of managing your priorities.
What you can do: Ditch the endless task list. Each day, identify one big thing (OBT) that you want to accomplish that day. Don’t work on anything else until that task is complete.
You may need to use time-blocking to create focused work sessions to get the OBT done. Turn off notifications, set boundaries, and treat these sessions like non-negotiable meetings with yourself.
My challenge to you: For the next 5 days, start your morning by writing down the top 3 priorities. Don’t end your day until they’re done.
in conclusion: the choice is yours
At the end of the day, the question isn’t whether you have time, energy, or resources. The question is: are you willing to be honest with yourself?
Complaining feels good in the moment. It’s a release valve for frustration. But it doesn’t solve anything. Informing yourself (and not everyone within ear-shot), on the other hand, leads to awareness - hopefully some self-awareness too, Karen.
So, the next time you catch yourself making an excuse, pause and ask: “Am I complaining or just informing?”
Because, as always, every second counts.
Pssst - mystery reader,
If you’re enjoying my writing, you’re going to love my internet mail. It’s this groundbreaking concept where I send you cool stuff to your inbox each week—pretty revolutionary, right?
Curious? You can read it here.
